


Touch Me

by BlazersEtc



Series: Explaining Alexander [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec has Aspergers, Asperger Syndrome, Aspergers!Alec, Awkward Sex, Awkward Sexual Situations, Barebacking, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 22:37:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8345425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlazersEtc/pseuds/BlazersEtc
Summary: Alec loves touch, he craves it, but Magnus doesn't understand why Alec is suddenly pulling away every time things get heated. Aspegers!Alec. Smut. Unbeated.





	

**Author's Note:**

> As always, please do not use these fics as a guidebook on how to deal with those of us on the Aspergers spectrum. Everyone is different and what may be true of Alec or me will not translate in exactly the same way to everyone on the spectrum. I write these fics so that those out there who aren't on the spectrum can understand it a little bit better, and hopefully you all enjoy them!

After it was established that Alec craved touch, Magnus and Alec’s physical relationship progressed quickly, though maybe a little more quickly than Mangus thought would happen. It wasn’t that Magnus was complaining, he’d entertained rather erotic images of the hazel eyed beauty for far longer than he cared to admit, but Magnus was a little worried about how lightly Alec seemed to be taking everything. Alec over thought everything, sometimes to the point where Manus would have to snap Alec out of his thoughts, so the fact that Alec just went with their physical relationship without any hesitations made Magnus a little worried; until one day Alec seemed to snap out of it and go the complete opposite direction in his thinking.

Heated makeouts that Alec had been fine with only days before were suddenly being pulled away from earlier than normal, and a once confident Shadowhunter was being replaced by someone who seemed almost terrified.

Which is why Magnus was currently sitting on his new favorite plush loveseat with a cup of green mint tea in hand, waiting for Alec to arrive so that they could have a discussion about it.

When Alec came through the door Magnus’s eyes snapped up and a smile spread across his face, no matter how many times it happened Magnus would never grow tired of seeing Alec walk into his home like he belonged there. “Ahh Alexander. Come have a seat.”

Alec was still getting used to the way Magnus spoke, the way he didn’t give anything away unless he wanted to, and Alec was not very good at reading things when they weren’t blunt.

Alec’s eyebrows furrowed as he slipped off his shoes, something Magnus had been adamant about when Alec had started visiting, and hung his bow on the hook by the door. Alec was at the loft often enough that Magnus had decided to put a hook on the wall for Alec's gear, using the excuse that it put scuff marks on the floor.

Alec crossed the floor and took a seat on the couch, opposite Magnus, his eyebrows still furrowed in confusion. Magnus chuckled to himself, and snapped his fingers, causing a tea cup and saucer to appear on the table beside Alec. “Relax darling, I just want to have a chat.”

Alec’s eyebrows rose, knowing good and well that if Magnus was doing something like this, something so formal, he was planning more than a simple ‘chat’.

“About?” Alec reached for the cup of tea and took a small sip, sitting the cup back down quickly when the liquid burned his tongue.

“About your sudden fear of intimacy.”

Alec’s eyebrows furrowed deeper, after all, it’s not like he’d been shy around Magnus, he’d fallen asleep in Magnus’s arms after watching a ‘Mundane Movie Marathon’ just the past week. Alec knew he wasn't a very open person but Magnus was the one who saw what others didn't. At seeing Alec’s confusion Magnus decided to clarify.

“Sex, Alexander.”

Alec’s cheeks immediately flushed, the tips of his ears going warm and he shifted a little from his place on the couch. Magnus was so nonchalant about things like this and Alec wished he could be more like Magnus in that respect, he suddenly felt very uneasy. 

“Trust me when I say I’m not trying to push you into anything, when you’re ready you’re ready, or if you’re never ready then that’s fine as well, but I am worried about your sudden aversion to it, when you seemed so curious a few weeks ago.”

“Magnus, I…” Alec opened his mouth and closed it again as he tried to formulate a response. Alec looked down at his lap, where the zipper pulls on his gear jeans seemed to suddenly be the most interesting thing in the room.

Alec heard rather than saw Magnus get up, feeling the cushion beside him dip when Magnus came to sit beside him. Alec hoped that Magnus couldn't tell how hard his heart was beating.

“Angel, I just want to make sure you’re okay. If there is something I did to-“

“No! I mean, no it’s not that.”Alec sighed, rubbing at his eyes with his palms, perhaps a little too harshly if the lights he saw were anything to go by.

“It’s just…I’ve never done anything like this before.” The stress was clear in Alec’s voice and Magnus couldn’t help but let the love show in his eyes as understanding flooded through him. Magnus still remembered his first time and while it wasn’t anything special, he did remember how nervous he’d been prior; and Magnus hadn't spent his whole life repressing his feelings.

“It’s not that I don’t…want that, it’s that I don’t know how.”

“If it’s sex ED you need, the internet is a wonderful place to start.” A teasing smile made its way onto Magnus's face.

“No, it’s not-I know how it works, I get the mechanics of it all, I just don’t know how to put it into action.” Alec blushed a little darker, chancing a glance up at Magnus before his eyes darted away again, too embarrassed to make eye contact with the Warlock. If Alec made eye contact he knew he'd lose his nerve and he really needed this to make sense right now.

“It’s like…when you’re kissing me, I know what I’m doing, mostly. You taught me, but when it goes beyond that it’s like I can’t get my brain to function. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

Magnus smiled softly, reaching out and gently placing his hand chain decorated hand on Alec’s forearm. “You’re not supposed to do anything. It’s just something you feel. It’s not going to be perfect the first time around, or even the second, it’s something you have to get used to.”

Alec swallowed, trying to get the thoughts racing through his mind to quiet down.

“It’s not that simple. I can’t just turn it off. My thoughts don’t just stop because I’m enjoying myself and even if they do stop, I can’t…” Alec rubbed at his forehead in frustration, “It’s like there is a disconnect in my brain and my body. I can be enjoying it but then my brain shuts off so much that I’m useless, and no one wants that.”

Alec could recall all too well their most recent makeout session on the couch. Magnus’s lips had been at his neck and Alec was letting loose quiet moans and whimpers that had Magnus going mad. Alec knew he should have done something besides lay there but he just couldn’t make his body cooperate. Where was he supposed to put his hands? Should he even move them at all? Was he being too loud? Could Magnus tell just how much he was enjoying this? Alec’s head hurt just thinking about it.

“Alexander, look at me.” Magnus reached for Alec’s chin, gently tilting his head up so that he could look Alec in the eyes. He could practically see the thoughts bouncing around inside of Alec’s head and he needed to stop them before they got out of control.  
“You’re not required to do anything. Yes, sex is a give and take activity, but you’re new to this. I’m not expecting mind blowing sex the first time or even the first few times. Sex is, in some ways, just like your training. You learn the more times you do it and the more relaxed you'll become. Soon you won’t even have to think about it.”

Alec looked down at Manus’s shirt, avoiding eye contact, as he tried to process what Magnus was saying to him. Alec didn’t know how to communicate what he was thinking but Magnus seemed to understand and let it drop for the night. Magnus dropped his hand down to where Alec’s lay in his lap, taking one in his own, running his thumb across the Nephilim's knuckles.

“Why don’t we both get changed into something more comfortable and put on some TV?”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
It wasn’t until two weeks later that Alec and Magnus had some time to themselves. Alec and Magnus were cuddling on Magnus’s bed, a big fluffy blanket covering their bodies as they chatted. It had been a rough two weeks, during which Alec’s Parabati bond had a flare up of excruciating pain that led the gang to setting up a rescue for Jace; only for the whole thing to fall apart. Between the pain Alec was receiving through the bond and the pain of failing at getting Jace back, laying together seemed like the perfect way to spend a few hours.

After such a rough ordeal Magnus had promised Alec a day or two away from the institute and surprisingly enough Alec had relented and allowed Izzy be in charge while he was away.

Alec snuggled closer to Magnus, burying his face in the crook of Magnus’s neck as he relaxed, listening to the sound of Magnus’s breathing. Magnus moved one of his hands from under Alec’s head to gently run his fingers through the boy's hair, smiling to himself when a quiet moan slipped out; Magnus stored the information away for a later time.

Alec immediately pulled back to look Magnus in the eyes before blurting out. “I’m ready.”

Magnus’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the out of the blue statement, before Alec’s words registered. “Oh…are you sure? You know that I’m a very patient man alexander.”

“I’m tired of waiting. I want you.” Alec blushed at the words, hearing them out loud made them a lot more embarrassing than Alec already thought they were, though Magnus couldn’t hep but smile, brushing Alec’s hair from his forehead. Magnus knew that it was hard to Alec to ask for what he wanted, and he wasn't about to discourage that.

“Then you shall have me.” Magnus pressed a soft kiss to Alec’s forehead.

Alec smiled softly, glancing up shyly at Magnus through his lashes before leaning up to kiss the warlock. Alec would never get tired of kissing Magus and though it had been a bit of a struggle grasp at first, he finally felt that he had learned how to properly kiss someone, and now he could just do it without thinking about it. It wasn’t too much of a problem until Magnus had moved to start kissing at Alec’s neck. Alec let out a quiet moan as Magnus’s teeth scraped along his skin, his eyes fluttering closed at the sensation and once again he was left unsure of what to do. Magnus smiled against his neck, sensing the taller man's hesitance.

“Relax.”

Alec tried to obey, focusing only on the feeling of Magnus's lips but his hands still stayed at his sides and Magnus chuckled quietly into the darkness. He reached down and took Alec’s hands, moving them to his back. “You can touch.”

Alec blushed but nodded as Magnus went back to the task at hand, causing Alec to whimper quietly, his hands awkwardly moving along Magnus’s back. He wanted to touch Magnus’s skin, to feel every inch of him under his fingers, but Alec had no idea how to get to that point, his face was flamed with embarrassment already. Alec knew he must have been focusing too hard because when he felt hands on his skin he almost jumped in surprise.

“Angel, are you sure about this?”

One of the things that Alec loved so much about Magnus was that he was always checking to make sure Alec was comfortable with what they were doing. Alec never felt unsafe around Magnus and it was one of the reasons he was so open to the Warlock. “Yeah, I just…nervous.” Alec mumbled, the red glow still in place on his cheeks.

Magnus smiled and place a soft kiss to the Nephilim's lips, "Just relax and enjoy." Magnus ran his fingers over the smooth skin of Alec's abs, committing the dips and raises to memory, inching up Alec's shirt as he went. When his hands reached Alec's collar bone he helped pull Alec’s t-shirt over his head, tossing it to the side before he reattached his lips to Alec’s neck, slowly working his way down Alec’s chest, taking a nipple into his mouth and gently running his teeth over it. Alec gasped in surprise, his back arching ever so slightly and Magnus smiled, his hand moving to run his nails over the other nipple.

Magnus moved to kiss down Alec’s abs, paying special attention to each rune, before he stopped at the waistband of Alec’s jeans. Alec blushed, squirming a little until Magnus placed a hand on his abs and ran it over them, causing a shiver to go up Alec’s spine.

“Beautiful.”

Alec blushed, he spent hours training and getting into shape for missions, but he never saw himself as attractive, let alone beautiful and the amount of scrutiny that Magnus was placing on him made him nervous. His own hands reached for Magnus’s shirt , desperate to get the attention off of himself. “Can I?”

“Of course.” Magnus leaned forward so that Alec could get a better grip and let him pull the shirt over his head.

Alec tossed the offending article to the side and bit his lip, his hand staying on Magnus’s hips. Magnus took Alec's hands in his own and placed them on his abs, “Go ahead.”

Alec nodded and gently ran his fingers over Magnus’s abs, a quiet moan slipping from his lips and Alec’s eyes widened ever so slightly in awe. Magnus had tanned flawless skin that stretched over his well-defined muscles. Alec had never seen Magnus shirtless before but now he wondered why Magnus ever wore one to begin with.

As Alec gently ran his fingers over the flesh, Magnus shivered and Alec was mesmerized as the muscles rippled under his fingers. Magnus leaned down to press his lip against Alec's, a gentle encouragement. Alec got lost in the kiss, forgetting his hands for a moment as Magnus's own hands traveled down Alec's abs to his belt where they paused. Magnus broke the kiss, "Can-?"

"Yes." Alec blushed at how quickly he replied, "The answer is always yes, Magnus."

Magnus smiled and leaned back in, "Just making sure, Angel." and kissed him once more while his hands worked on the buckle. Magnus made quick work of the belt and tossed it to the side and quickly undid Alec's fly, gently tugging on the pants, alec lifting his ass off the bed slightly to help the process along. Alec's wasted no time once his pants were off, his own hands reached for the fly on Magnus's pants, fumbling with the intricate button as a blush colored his cheeks. Magnus smiled encouragingly and Alec finally won the fight with the button, quickly stripping the pants off and letting Magnus kick them off.

Magnus smiled and went back in for another kiss, letting his body relax against Alec and when he shifted Alec could feel Magnus's cock pressed against his own through the material of their boxers,causing Alec to let out a quiet moan. Magnus's fingers roamed over Alec's side, nails scratching as they went, causing a whimper to fall from Alec's lips, his hips rocking into Magnus's own. Magnus gasped quietly into Alec's mouth, the feeling of their cocks brushing together sending fire through his veins. Magnus snapped his fingers, the last barrier of between their bodies vanishing.

In that instant Alec could feel every inch of Magnus's skin pressed against his own. Alec had never really given much thought to what it would feel like to be close to Magnus like this. Sure he'd imagined hands in certain places and lips on his skin, but he'd never stopped to just think about something as simple as Magnus's skin against his own. It sent tingles along Alec's body, and heat pooled in his stomach at the sensation.

Magnus rolled his hips down against Alec's, causing a moan to slip from the Shadowhunters lips and he didn't even think before blurting out, "Please. Magnus, I...I need you."

Magnus nodded, moving away from Alec just a bit so that he could reach for the lube. Alec glanced down, unable to help himself, and blushed at what he saw. Magnus was beautiful with his clothes on but with his clothes off he was on a whole nother level. There didn't seem to be a flaw anywhere on the man, nor any hair, just smooth flawless skin. Alec's eyes tracked over Magnus's abs, then followed the defined V that lead to where Magnus was thick, hard and leaking. Alec couldn't help but be a little mesmerized.

Alec looked up at Magnus with lust blown eyes, his breathing heavy, nerves setting in as Magnus looked down at him. "How do you want to do this?"

Alec flushed dark red, "I um...I'd like for you to...take the lead." Magnus smiled a playful smile, "Which means? Alexander, you're going to have to be a little more clear."

Alec flushed so red he was sure he put a lobster to shame, "Iwanttobeonthebottom." Alec managed to mumble out, his words so strung together that Magnus almost didn't catch them. Almost.

"Very well." Magnus leaned down to press his lips to Alec's own, distracting the Nephilim while he worked a knee between Alec's legs, gently pressing them apart. Magnus slicked his fingers with lube and brought them down to Alec's entrance, circling the ring of muscle with a single finger, moving to kiss down Alec's jaw to his neck, biting and licking at the skin there as he slowly pressed a single finger inside. Alec had fingered himself before, though not often, and he was familiar with the sensation but having Magnus do it was a whole new experience. It wasn't pleasurable but it wasn't painful either and the attention to his neck was enough to keep Alec wanting more, his hips rolling up slightly as Magnus thrust the digit in and out.

Alec whimpered quietly and Magnus added another, biting down on Alec's neck as he did so, causing Alec to cry out in a strange new mix of pleasure and pain. The fingers were uncomfortable but Alec had read enough to know that it would start to feel good after the pain went away so he focused on Magnus's lips instead.

"So good for me, darling." Magnus praised, kissing the skin of Alec's neck as he scissored his fingers gently, pressing them a little deeper as he searched for Alec's prostate. Alec couldn't keep the blush off of his face, loving the praise that Magnus was giving. The moment Magnus's fingers grazed across the special spot Alec let out a moan, blushing when he heard the sound escaping his throat. Magnus smirked, massaging his fingers gently against the spot as Alec's hips bucked up against Magnus's own, causing a moan to fall from the warlock's lips.

"Magnus...please." Alec whimpered, shimmying his hips in an attempt to press Magnus's fingers further inside. "Patience, Angel. I'm almost done, I promise." Magnus added a third finger, causing Alec to bit his lip in discomfort but Magnus was quick to put his focus back on Alec's neck, nipping at the skin there and sucking as he thrust all three fingers in and out.

Alec let his head roll to the side, giving Magnus extra room, whimpers and moans escaping Alec's mouth as Magnus sent waves of pleasure through his body. It took only a moment more for Magnus to decide Alec was stretched enough and he pulled back, sliding his fingers free, his clean hand reaching for the bottle of lube. Alec watched Magnus move in silence, not trusting himself to speak as he watched the warlock slick his cock in lube. Magnus gently spread Alec's legs a little wider, lining himself up before leaning down to kiss Alec.

"Are you sure?" Magnus asked against Alec's lips, his heart beating faster than he could remember it beating in a long time.

"Magnus, please." That as all the encouragement Magnus needed, he pushed in slowly, leaning his forehead against Alec's, screwing his eyes shut as he fought off the urge to bury himself completely inside of Alec in a split second, as he felt the tight heat consume him. Alec's breath caught in his throat, his fingers gripping tightly onto Magnus's comforter, his eyes screwing shut, as he tried to deal with the pain. Alec knew it was going to hurt but he hadn't known it was going to be quite this bad.

When Magnus was fully sheathed inside he swallowed hard, giving himself a moment before he opened his eyes, "Relax, Angel. It will hurt less if you relax." Magnus coxed, kissing Alec's forehead softly, Alec's hands moving to Magnus's hips and gripping them tightly as he tried to get used to the feeling. It hurt like hell but the sensation of pure pain was slowly starting to fade and in its place was a feeling of...wonder. Magnus Bane, the high warlock of Brooklyn, his beautiful boyfriend, was inside of him, making him feel closer to Magnus than he'd ever felt before. Alec's felt his throat tighten in emotion,a shaky breath escaping him as he tried to hold back tears.

Alec couldn't help the way his body clenched around Magnus, needing the other to move, desperately, his eyes opening to plead with Magnus.

"Alexander..."Magnus breathed, pulling back just enough so that he could see Alec's eyes.

"Magnus-" Alec was cut off by Magnus's lips crashing with his own, Magnus's pulled his hips back just enough so that only the head of his cock was left inside of Alec before he thrust forward, causing a moan to slip from Alec's lips, his hands falling from the warlock's hips to tangle in the bedspread. Magnus took that as a good sign and began a slow rhythm, Alec's hands gripping into the material in pleasure instead of pain. He could feel Magnus filling him completely, making him feel whole in ways he'd never felt before, and though he's shared a parabatai bond for years, he'd never felt this close to someone before.

Magnus broke the kiss only because he had to, he couldn't breathe anymore and passing out in the middle of something this close to perfect would be a crime. Magnus angled his hips a bit before he picked up his pace and when he slid in just right, hitting Alec's prostate, Alec almost screams, arching his back, his face contorting in pleasure. Magnus moaned, his hands quickly moving down to take Alec's cock in his hand and stroking in time with his thrusts. Alec's toes curled in pleasure, he'd never felt anything this good in his life.

"I...I-I can't-" Alec's words were choked off but Magnus seemed to get the point, he knew that Alec's first time wouldn't last too long, hell Magnus was proud of himself for lasting this long, so he tightened his grip, and leaned down to bite a mark into Alec's deflect rune.

"Let go." Magnus breathed, pulling away so that he could watch Alec's face. It only took a few more thrusts before Alec was coming hard, moaning Magnus's name and arching his back so far that Magnus worried he might break. Magnus doesn't fare much better though, because he follows Alec into pleasure he's never felt before, spilling inside of Alec with a moan.

It took both of them a moment to catch their breaths before they could speak and Alec is the first.

"Fuck." It's the first time Magnus has heard Alec use that word and his dick gives a painful twitch.

"Alexander, that was....incredible." Magnus gently pulled his hips away, causing Alec to let out a whimper, a blush making its way to his cheeks. Magnus smiled, gently kissing Alec's forehead and snapping his fingers to clean them both off before pulling Alec close. Alec went willingly into his arms, cuddling close and placing a soft kiss to Magnus's neck. All the energy had been drained from his body but Alec had never felt more content.

"Thank you." He breathed, closing his eyes as his body caught up with him.

"Anytime, Alexander. Anytime."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I love to hear feedback, so if you have any for me, please don't hesitate to leave a comment!


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